As some of you haven’t noticed and judging by the attendance you haven’t, the Style went a full year without a beat writer. The last guy was fired for conduct unbecoming.
Anyway the team is coming off a playoff year and just missing out on a World Series appearance. The team is already heating up the hot stove with the additions of SS Carlos Guillen and 1B Paul Konerko. The Style plan on filling the the remainder of the roster through Free Agency. The needs are small, two pitchers and and outfielder. Manager Alyssa Milano says that she and owner Steve Egge have had intimate talks regarding the players to target this off-season.
Late last Wednesday night the Brewville Style reached a deal on a 5 year television contract with the CW. The financial terms were not released. Style Manager Alyssa Milano having recently worked for the network television show “Charmed” was said to have played a key role in getting this agreement to work for both parties. “The Gilmore Girls and Style Baseball,” said newly acquired pitcher Steve Trachsel “now that is quality television.”
The Style then immediately took that revenue stream and applied it toward bringing in talent. Five year deals were stuck on Thursday with Jake Peavy, Carl Crawford, and Todd Helton. The three players will take in $1.012 billion dollars in the next 5 years.
The Style have now spent $375 million on 21 players for the 2007 season.
Jared Washburn has agreed to a 3 year deal with the Style. Washburn will join fellow southpaw Gustavo Chacin in the rotation. “Getting quality starts from lefties is a winning strategy” stated pitching coach Mark “the bird” Fidrych during the press conference at Banana Smoothie stadium yesterday. Washburn will make $15 million in each of the 3 years of the contract making him the highest paid Style player during 2007. Lastings Milledge has the highest contract but will only make $10 mil during the ’07 season.
Owner and GM Steve Egge is excited with the economical signings early in the free agent period. We are a small market and until we reach a lucrative television contract we cannot go out and spend like we are the Armada.
Lastings Milledge, Gustavo Chacin, Freddie Sanchez, and Bonds – Barry Bonds have all agree to terms with the Style.
Bonds was enticed into signing a one year deal after hearing he can drop the flax seed oil for Banana Smoothie. Milledge, Chacin, and Sanchez all agreed to 5 year deals. Each was promised to be a cornerstone in the franchize. Sanchez leadge the NL in batting during 2006 and expects to continue his attack wearing the Orange and Black.
When asked about his thoughts for playing with the Style, Chacin was quoted as saying “Quiero comprar unos pantalones.”
Rumor has it that the Style are considering trading the asking price of two #1 picks to the Patriots for Deion Branch.
A spokesman with the Style was quoted as saying “We hear he can catch. We currently do not have a catcher.”
A quick role call was given today at Banana Smoothie Stadium for the newly formed Brewville Style. The team is trying to make a splash with a few unorthidox moves.
1st base coach: Sadaharu Oh
3rd base coarch: Mickey Rivers
Hitting Instructor: Pedro Guerrero
Pitching Coach: Mark “The Bird” Fidrych
Manager: Alyssa Milano